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[06 Oct 2005|08:06pm] |
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and the hits keep coming...
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| Another wasted night... |
[11 Sep 2005|12:08am] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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music |
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The Used |
] |
For real, can someone please help me make the best out of things??
I'm asking for real advice about how to actually think bout the good in things and not make into some shitty situation...
Please. and Thank you.
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| So Long Sweet Summer |
[23 Aug 2005|10:09pm] |
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mood |
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 determined |
] |
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music |
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Smile Empty Soul- I Want My Life |
] |
As summer is coming to an end (kinda) I am sad.
This summer has seriously been actualyl life changing for me in a way that I have learned from the good the bad and the ugly.
As I hate to admit it, I did learn from the things that hurt me the most and without them I would not have become the person I am.
So I am kinda grateful for them and wouldn't change them for the world.
I was really able to tell who my true friends are this summer and without them, I don't know where I would be at this point and they are without a doubt my best friends.
You guys have helped with me in the worst of times and I feel like there isn't anything worthy enough to pay you back.
I just hope I can keep this kind of mind with me at all times but I know that wont happen. Just the fact that I am thinking it now is helping.
So thank you summer for everything.
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| </3 |
[15 Aug 2005|01:44am] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
] |
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music |
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My Eyes Burn |
] |
I have so many emotions right now that I think I'm going to go crazy!
Like i just had the worst/greatest week ever and I don't whether or not to be happy right now.
I am soo thankful I have the true friends that I do and thank you so much Tara for everything. You have been there for me this week like a true friend and I don't know what I would have doen without you and you will get through this rough patch right now cuz u r strong like that and I believe that you can. And to everyone else I love you guys for making me feel better and caring for me.
But now I just feel like everything is going wrong now. Like in the beginning everything was just plain shit for me and then all of a sudden alittle peice of hope came by and a month a week later....its all shit again! but now im trying to move on and not dwell on the past. (and as u can see, this moving on part is a little harder than expected)But i will...i still have soooo many questions and am sooo confused by lots of things but i hope they will all get settled soon.
so yea...comment on the other post cuz i said so and the other post makes me happy lol
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[11 Aug 2005|04:48pm] |
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mood |
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KINKY!!!!!!! |
] |
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music |
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the used- on my own |
] |
Hii this is Tara..
Alex has no idea im updating for her.. soo shh..
shes in the shower.. naked.. it's extremely hott..!
well i love Alex sooo much!
and we make good smoothies and bacon!..
BFF! ya that's right homie.!
Alex is really hott!..
and she's single.. hey boys.. ya that's right.. u'd be crazy lucky for some1 like her..
anyway i love Alex more then anything..
and our hott and kinky.. naughty cops and robbers!.. aha
<33Tara
oh ps. me n alex are going to the used concert on the 20th..
so be EXTREMELY jelous!
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| Bye's for now. |
[27 Jul 2005|12:38pm] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
] |
| [ |
music |
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the used |
] |
hey guys
Im leaving for Costa Rica tomorrow night
so when i get back i better have a lot of comments =)
i <3 u all!
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| The Big 1-5!!! |
[20 Jul 2005|10:06pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Hawthorne Heights |
] |
LISA CAMPALONG JUST TURNED 15 TODAY PEOPLES AND YOU SHOULD ALL WISH HER A
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE U LISA!!!
<3
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[21 Jun 2005|08:27pm] |
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mood |
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 indescribable |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Say Anything |
] |
after everything that has gone on.........i am happy by the end of the day.
:)
thank you.
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[15 Jun 2005|10:08pm] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
so lets get this straight shall we:
1) i need to get the shit beaten out of me to respect people
2) i have no respect for anyone
3) im beyond selfish
4) i only use you to get stuff
5) o yea and that i made it into elco....lets go celebrate.
6) ooo and i love being called anorexic by you....it gives it all its final touches
so im worth shit, i get treated like shit, o and that i treat other people like shit and thats y im not gonn a be able to have friends in the future. and thanks for telling me the news iv wanted to here for weeks in the middle of all this. that is not fair and u know it. thats prolly why u said it then. and now im gonna fail my spanish final and look at this.....im still blaming it on u and not myself. iv learned well havent i?!
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| 2 weeks! |
[11 Jun 2005|04:31pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Incubus |
] |
u come home in 2 weeks and i am soooo excited!!!
I am sooo glad u r doing better and i will always
be here for u!
u have not changed a bit i love u!!!!
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| ::Edit:: |
[30 May 2005|10:06pm] |
Ok so that entry needed to be taken away...I was in a weird mood but thank u to all 3 of u who showed ur concern and i love u for that!
My weekend=NEEDED ALOT!!!!!
Thank u crack-bean for a schiggity schweeeeet weekend.....i think it was quite superior if i dont say so myself.-Splooom
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[22 May 2005|11:04pm] |
calabasas
or
el camino?
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[18 May 2005|03:50pm] |
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mood |
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 grrrrrr |
] |
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music |
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Ellen Degeneres Show |
] |
You make me so mad!
Edit
O wait I just thought of more....bsides making me mad,
it feels like ur taking everyhing away from me
and I know I should be strong and not let it happen
but come to think of it....and ill say it...it seems
like none of it is worth saving.
Have it all....Take it all....you usually do.
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[02 May 2005|03:41pm] |
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mood |
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content |
] |
All I have to say is thank god this month is over!
But ne ways....had the best fricken weekend...went to disney land with meghan, it was pretty hott! lol
And this weekend is my b day (Saturday, May 7th to be exact)...so yea, just letting u all know heheh
And this is sooo weird, I'm still stressed but not as "sad"ish as i was b4 and i hope it stays cuz i like this feeling. I feel like I can actually somewat breathe now.
So to the month of may people (bdays) I would like to say Happy Birthday to:
Morgan (april 30th, close enough)
Nicole
Jenn
Erin
Melissa
ME!
( BIRTHDAY PIX WITH THE HOTTEST PEOPLE EVER! )
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[24 Apr 2005|08:30pm] |
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mood |
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 lonely |
] |
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music |
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Gotta Get Through This (acoustic) |
] |
umm so yea if u havent figured it out yet i am finally getting a hang of this myspace deal...lol (thanks to meghan!!!) lol
Lip Synch was a lotta funn and we won on Wednesday night. I was kinda upset that some people didnt go but w.e.....life goes on.
After dinner and the movies was funn. Thanks meghan, CHA CHI!, lisa, and everyone else.
I know this is gonna sound weird but w.e, i had the weirdest dream last night. That this person that shall remain nameless and i started randomly going out and i thought it was soo real and then i woke up to my mom screaming and i was literally soo sad that it was a dream cuz it was soo nice to finally have a bf and to be held and kissed and finally having someone that is there for the same reason as u, to be with that person. I loved it and then i woke up and it was gone and realized i dont have that. I dont know why all of a sudden I feel so lonely. It could b because like everyone i know is all of a sudden pairing up (not saying that in a bad way and of course i am happy for all of u) its just really weird now. ughhhh....
Plus nowadays i feel very plain and average. I want some excitement in my life. I need to do something that I know Im gonna remember for a long time. Something that I dont normally do.
Ok.thats it.
P.S. You know shit is ok with ur mom no matter what wen she gives u joints for 4/20
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[13 Apr 2005|04:44pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
] |
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music |
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dcfc |
] |
hahahahah
it never fails does it?
1)The lack of boys in my life is starting to bug me
2)Strike 1...2 more to go
3)Need to find a new tutor for SAT 2's
4)This is the first year where I DONT want my birthday
to come
I miss you Lissa<3
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[31 Mar 2005|07:09pm] |
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mood |
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 Pretty Shitty. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Colorblind |
] |
Well Im not gonna update on how im feeling or wats happening this spring break because absolutly nothing has changed except things getting to the point where they cant get any worse, but do. So im just gonna update on thoughts.
It seems like people (more of girls) these think that other girls just type shit on Lj or wherever to get attention. Most of them do and i will admit that i do think that. But there is a point where someone is trying to reach out and ask for help and all they get are comments are like "if u wanna talk im here". well obviously they wanna talk if they have the post. but then when other grls see that post or w.e they think they have to beat it by putting how much there life sucks and shit just to get the attention or more comments or w.e. its retarded. i just thought that needed to be said.
Well iv done some thinking and it brought to the conclusion that as much as i want to change my past and iv wat iv done or wanted to do, i just cant. its not gonna happen and all i can say now is that i hope for the future to b better an brighter (however the way its going now, its going to take a lot for it to be better and brighter).
O and by the way, (no names or way of relation to me will be said cuz it will make me feel bad) but SHE who shall not be named is draining me of my last ....EVERYTHING and i dont know wat to do. i need to get away cuz im about to burst. i dont know wat im gonna do and im sick of playing mind games with her and if its not her than its no way. some one please help with this problem.
This Spring break is the worst spring break of my entire life.
thanks for the VERY FEW people i saw. the time we did spend
together was funn.
im not even gonna say to call me for plans cuz i know none of u will.
doesnt matter ne more though, becuz im actually the rest of the weekend.
and dont say i could have called u, becuz thats all iv been pretty much
doing is calling other people and NO ONE calls me (xcept for like a few people who actually do wanna c me but have to flake on them cuz of other shit, im sorry!). they r true friends. ones where WE BOTH CALL EATHOTHER.
im sure u know how to pick up a fricken phone and dial my #. and if u dont have it then find out wat it is and call. cuz putting in the extra amount of work to get the # is wat friends do.
Im allowing comments for everthing on the past 2 or 3 (and this one) entries.
say wat u want bout how amazingly kool ur spring break was and wat u did. (i would really like to know)
or on other stuff like...like maybe advice....u know that couldnt hurt ne one..
or just random stuff, i dont care.
Please also comment with some music to download cuz im getting bored of the stuff in my iPod. I like it alot but its just getting boring. K Thanks.
P.S. (lol) MY DOG DOESNT HAVE CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S JUST REALLY REALLY REALLY FAT!!!!!!
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[28 Mar 2005|12:36am] |
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mood |
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Just sitting. |
] |
| [ |
music |
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my turtle tank. |
] |
got new icons cuz i was bored and I wanted new ones.
well i havent seen any of my friends yet this spring break.
doesnt suprise me.
my parents finally want me to "talk" to my psychiatrist about my low frustration level and unexpressed anger.
i guess thats wat u get after yelling at ur dad and cussing
your mom out.
they are also starting to actually prepare me for college.
also my college counsler yelled at me for not having enough community serivce hours. i thought i was gonna reach across the table and smack her.
well its 12 40 and im bored.
i am inluv with the movie Crazy/Beautiful.
just thought id let u know.
I want a boyfriend.
Just someone that will call me (or I call them, either one) and we talk for hours about nothing in particular or just sit there and listen to eachother breathe, that would be nice for awhile.
and I realized my birthday is coming up eventually (May 7th to be exact).
I think its just so much more to be stressed over, especially if your turning 16.
ughhhhhhhhhhh.......
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[23 Mar 2005|09:09pm] |
just thought id let u know that now
since im not allowing comments ill be doing more posts,
i guess, than usual. You have been warned.
Still feel like shit. But I might be more
verbal about it. Good luck.
Parents are acting like high schoolers.
Hiding shit from me (that has to do with me),
talking about me behind my back, attempting to be
nice but is just more annoying, and just being really
retarded.
Lost some people. Mostly stolen. Used to it by now.
I miss my best friend and for the very first time, in
all these years of going to different skools, I feel
like we are drifting off. My throat hurts from holding back
the tears.
I have no spring break plans. While more than half of my skool
(and my sister) are going to Cabo. That makes me laugh.
I better do alot of shopping. I need it.
Hopefully I wont be too lazy to go for my permit during break.
Today I heard this grl complain about her new car her parents bought her.
Didn't suprise me much.
I hate people who do that. But I do realize now that actual things cant bring
happiness. I thought it did wen i got the things I wanted (after a period of
time) but didnt really change things.
I need to get out of my house.
Movies are starting to really annoy me.
So are alot of people. But then again I might be annoying alot of people. w/e.
I miss my sister still. I feel like a broken record.
Now after reading this, Im pretty sure you still want to hang out with me.
* Need to add this.
Be greatful for the cars and other shit u get after getting ur liscence or in most cases before u even get ur permit. If you really bitch about not getting the car you wanted before you get your permit, your in for a rude awakening for the real world. I would love for people who have these cars to see what its really like to not get your car till after your freshman year in college. So be greatful and dont take shit for granted.
Another thing....
Its like I cant fucking be normal if I sit in my room for a few hours. I get shit for not acting like my hyper self. WTF is ur problem!?!? im not a bitch if im not laughing or acting hyper. im sorry, ok. im sorry. stop being a bitch to me and saying that im "secluding myself in my room". if i wanna sit in here for as long as i want then i will. leave me alone. i didnt do ne thing to u. im not a bitch to u, so stop calling me one. im in here for like 2 or maybe a lil more hours and im already being bashed for it.
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[17 Mar 2005|09:42pm] |
Excuse me but can I be you for a while
My dog won't bite if you sit real still
I got the anti-Christ in the kitchen yellin' at me again
Yeah I can hear that
Been saved again by the garbage truck
I got something to say you know
But nothing comes
Yes I know what you think of me
You never shut-up
Yeah I can hear that
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of yours
With her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent All These Years
So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts
Boy you best praya that I bleed real soon
How's that thought for you
My scream got lost in a paper cup
You think there's a heaven
Where some screams have gone
I got 25 bucks and a cracker
Do you think it's enough
To get us there
Cause what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of yours
With her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent All These...
Years go by
Will I still be waiting
For somebody else to understand
Years go by
If I'm stripped of my beauty
And the orange clouds
Raining in head
Years go by
Will I choke on my tears
Till finally there is nothing left
One more casualty
You know we're too easy Easy Easy
Well I love the way we communicate
Your eyes focus on my funny lip shape
Let's hear what you think of me now
But baby don't look up
The sky is falling
Your mother shows up in a nasty dress
It's your turn now to stand where I stand
Everybody lookin' at you here
Take hold of my hand
Yeah I can hear them
But what if I'm a mermaid
In these jeans of yours
With her name still on it
Hey but I don't care
Cause sometimes
I said sometimes
I hear my voice
And it's been here
Silent All These Years
I've been here
Silent All These Years
Been listening to that song alot.
Things are still pretty shitty.
My house confuses me.
Im glad I have the friends I have. Seriously.
Still pretty confused with shit.
Doing nothing for Spring Break.
I want to attempt to go for my permit
but I'm too lazy, even for that. Don't know why.
Theres one thing that hasen't hit me yet that I just found out
and I'm really really really scared how I'm going to react to it
once it finally does it hit me.
Ok I'm done.
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